HaMLeT - Act II Scene 1
Act II Scene 1
SETTING: Tunnels under the castle
HAMLET
It…is…cold Horatio.
HORATIO
Yes, my lord, it’s definitely nippy. How much longer are we going to wait for this “ghost”?
HAMLET
What time is it?
HORATIO
A little before twelve I believe. Right when they like to appear.
HAMLET
But I heard the clock strike.
HORATIO
Really? I didn’t hear it.
(trumpets play offstage and two cannons are fired)
What does that mean?
HAMLET
It means, that the king is staying up all night drinking and dancing. And as he guzzles down his German wine, the musicians make a ruckus to celebrate his draining another cup.
HORATIO
Is that a tradition?
HAMLET
Yes, it is. But I’d rather not consider the tradition to be part of my own heritage. A tiny spot of evil casts doubt on our good qualities and ruins our reputations.
(the GHOST enters)
Angels protect us! Do you see it, Horatio?
HORATIO
See what my lord?
HAMLET
Good spirit or cursed demon, your intentions good or evil, you look so strange that I want to talk to you. I’ll call you “Hamlet Senior,” “King,” “Father,”. Answer me! Tell me why your church buried bones have burst out of their coffin, and how your tomb opened its heavy marble jaws to spit you out again?
(the GHOST motions for HAMLET to follow)
It wants me to go off with it, alone. Look how politely it’s pointing to a place further away. It’s not going to speak; I need to follow it.
HORATIO
There is nothing there, lord Hamlet, please don’t do this.
HAMLET
What’s the danger? I don’t value my life, and as for my soul, how can the ghost endanger something that’s as immortal as itself? It’s waving me over again. I’m following it.
HORATIO
But sir, what if it tempts you to jump into the sea? Or to the terrifying cliff overhanging the water, and takes on some other horrible form that drives you insane. Think about it. The edge of the sea makes people feel despair in best of times. All we have to do is look into its depths and hear it roar from far below.
HAMLET
It’s still waving to me.
(to GHOST)
Go ahead, I’ll follow.
HORATIO
You’re not going, sir.
(HORATIO tries to hold HAMLET back)
HAMLET
Let go of me.
HORATIO
Calm down. You’re not going anywhere.
HAMLET
It’s fate calling me. The ghost is still waving me over. Let me go!
(HAMLET draws his sword)
I swear, if you hold me back, I’ll make a ghost of you! Now, get away.
(to GHOST)
Go ahead, I’m ready.
(the GHOST and HAMLET exit)
HORATIO
His father’s ghost—armed? Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and I suspect foul play. But, it’s best to remain calm in these troubled times, bad deeds will be revealed no matter how people try to hide them.
(HORATIO exits chasing after HAMLET)
BLINK
HAMLET
(to GHOST)
Where are you taking me? Speak. I’m not going any farther.
GHOST
Listen to me!
HAMLET
What?
GHOST
The hour has nearly come I have to return to the horrible flames of purgatory.
HAMLET
Ah, poor ghost.
GHOST
Don’t pity me, everyone has ghosts. Listen carefully! I’m the ghost of your father, doomed to walk the earth at night, while during the day I’m trapped in the fires of purgatory until I can penance for my sins. I could tell stories that would slice through your soul, freeze your blood, make your eyes jump out of their sockets, and your hair stand on end like porcupine quills. But mortals like you aren’t allowed to hear the description of the afterlife. Listen, listen! If you ever loved your poor dear father,—
HAMLET
What the pha—
GHOST
-then take revenge for his horrible, horrible murder!
HAMLET
Murder?
GHOST
Murder’s always horrible, but this one was especially horrible, weird, and unnatural.
HAMLET
Tell me about it, and I’ll take revenge faster than a person falls in love.
GHOST
I’m glad you’re eager. You’d have to be as lazy as a weed on the shores of Lethe not to get riled up here. Now listen, Hamlet. Everyone was told that a poisonous snake bit me when I was sleeping in the orchard. You should know, my son, the real snake is now wearing the crown.
HAMLET
I knew it! My uncle?
GHOST
Yes, that incestuous, adulterous animal. With his clever words and fancy gifts, he seduced my seemingly virtuous queen, giving in to his lust. They were evil words and gifts that seduced her. But just as you can’t corrupt a truly virtuous person, the opposite is also true. But wait, I think I smell the morning air. So let me be brief. Your uncle snuck up to me when I was sleeping in the orchard, as I always used to do, and poured henbane poison into my ear. The poison moved like quicksilver through my veins and curdled my blood covering my smooth body with a revolting crust. That’s how my brother robbed me of my life, my crown, and my queen. He cut me off in the middle of a sinful life. I had no chance to repent for my sins or receive last rites. It’s horrible, oh, so horrible! Don’t let the Danish king’s bed be a nest of incest. But however you go about your revenge, know it will corrupt your mind. Leave your mother to God and her own guilt. But alas, the glowworm’s light is beginning to fade, and morning is near. Remember me.
Good-bye,
good-bye,
good-bye.
(the GHOST exits)
HAMLET
Are you even up there? Dammit! Keep beating heart, we can’t grow old yet—so keep me standing. "Remember you?" Yes, you poor ghost, as long as I have any power of memory in this distracted head, I’ll remember you. Oh, you evil woman! You damned, smiling villain. Where’s my notebook? —It’s a good idea for me to write down that one can smile and be a villain. At least it’s possible within these walls.
(he writes)
So, there you are uncle. Now to my word. He said, “Remember me.” I swore I would.
(HORATIO enters)
HORATIO
Sir! Lord Hamlet. —Oh please, let him be alright.
HAMLET
I’m alright, I’m alright.
HORATIO
Oh-ho-ho, sir!
HAMLET
Oh-ho-ho, kid! Come here.
HORATIO
So, how did it go sir? What happened?
HAMLET
It was incredible!
HORATIO
Oh, please, tell me!
HAMLET
No, you’ll talk.
HORATIO
I swear I won’t.
HAMLET
Okay. But you promise you can keep a secret?
HORATIO
Yes, sir, I swear.
HAMLET
Any villain in Denmark is going to be, well, a villain.
HORATIO
You don’t need a ghost returning from the grave to tell you that.
HAMLET
Yes, yes of course you’re absolutely right. So, without further ado, the best thing to do now is probably just to shake hands and go our separate ways. You go and take care of your business(since everybody has some business to take care of, whatever it is worth), and I’ll go pray.
HORATIO
You’re talking in a crazy way, sir.
HAMLET
I’m sorry if I offended you; yes, very sorry.
HORATIO
Oh, no sir. No offense taken.
HAMLET
Ah, but there is, Horatio, there’s great offense. As for the ghost, he’s a real one, I can tell you that much. But regarding what happened between us, don’t ask, I can’t tell you. And now, my friend, my courageous and educated friend, do me one small favor.
HORATIO
Of course. What is it, sir?
HAMLET
Don’t ever tell anyone what you’ve seen tonight.
HORATIO
I won’t, sir.
HAMLET
No, you have to swear it.
HORATIO
I swear to God I won’t.
HAMLET
Swear by my sword.
HORATIO
I already swore, sir.
HAMLET
Yes, but swear by my sword this time.
GHOST
(cries out from under the stage)
Swear!
HAMLET
(to GHOST)
Are you down there, good sire?
(to HORATIO)
Come on, you can hear this guy down in the basement, right? Agree to swear.
HORATIO
Tell me what to swear.
HAMLET
Swear never to mention what you’ve seen. Swear by my sword.
GHOST
(from above)
Swear.
HAMLET
(to GHOST)
You’re everywhere, aren’t you?
(to HORATIO)
Maybe we should move. Come over here and put your hands on my sword again. Swear by my sword you’ll never mention what you’ve heard.
GHOST
(from under the stage)
Swear by his sword!
HAMLET
You said it right ole mole. What a tunneler!
HORATIO
My God, this is unbelievably strange.
HAMLET
Then welcome it as you would any stranger, friend. There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, then you’ve ever dreamed of. But listen, no matter how strangely I act(since I may find it appropriate to act a little crazy, in the near future), you must never, ever let on—with a gesture of your hands or expression on your face—that you know anything about what happened here tonight. Swear you won’t..
GHOST
(bellows from bellow)
Swear.
HAMLET
Okay, then, unhappy ghost, you can rest now. Let’s go back to court together, -but shhh, no talking about this.
(Hamlet exits)
HORATIO
Damn the fact that I’m the one that’s supposed to fix this.
(HORATIO exits)
(END OF SCENE)
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