HaMLeT - Act III Scene 3
Act III
Scene 3
SETTING: Main hall
(CLAUDIUS, GERTRUDE, POLONIUS, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN enter)
CLAUDIUS
And can’t you put your heads together and figure out why he’s running around acting so crazy?
ROSENCRANTZ
He admits he feels confused my lord, but refuses to say why.
GUILDENSTERN
And he’s not exactly eager to be interrogated. He’s very sly and dances around our questions when we try to get him to talk about how he feels.
GERTRUDE
Did he treat you well?
ROSENCRANTZ
Yes, Your Highness, very gentlemanly.
GUILDENSTERN
But it seemed forced.
ROSENCRANTZ
He didn’t ask questions, but answered ours at length.
GERTRUDE
Did you try tempting him with some entertainment?
ROSENCRANTZ
Madam, the actors happened to cross our paths on the way there. We told lord Hamlet about them, and that seemed to do him some good. They’ve been told to give a performance for him tonight.
POLONIUS
It’s true, and he asked me to beg you both to attend.
CLAUDIUS
It does make me happy to hear he’s interested. Gentlemen, let this play do him some good.
ROSENCRANTZ, GUILDENSTERN
Yes, my lord.
(ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN exit)
CLAUDIUS
Sweet Gertrude, please give us a moment alone. We’ve secretly arranged for Hamlet to come here so that he runs into Ophelia. Polonius and I, justifiably acting as spies, will hide and observe Hamlet’s behavior to determine if love is what makes him suffer.
GERTRUDE
Of course. As for you, Ophelia, I hope your beauty is the reason for Hamlet’s insane behavior, just as I hope your virtues return him to normal someday, for the good of both of you.
OPHELIA
I hope so too, my queen.
(GERTRUDE exits)
POLONIUS
Ophelia, come here.—
(to CLAUDIUS)
Your Majesty, we will hide.
(to OPHELIA)
—Read from this prayer book, so it looks natural that you’re all alone. This happens all the time, people act devoted to God to mask their bad deeds.
CLAUDIUS
(to himself)
How right he is! I’m disguising my guilt with fine words, like a whore who’s pockmarked cheek is made pretty with make-up. What terrible guilt is this?
POLONIUS
He’s coming. Quick, let’s hide, my lord.
(CLAUDIUS and POLONIUS hide)
(HAMLET enters)
HAMLET
To be, or not to be, alive or dead?
That is the question: Whether ‘tis nobler to put up with all the nasty things luck throws your way, or to fight against those troubles by putting an end to them once and for all? Dying sleeping—that’s all dying is—a sleep that ends all the heartache and shocks that life on earth gives us—that’s an achievement to wish for. To die, to sleep—to sleep, maybe to dream. Ah, but there’s the catch: in death’s sleep who knows what kind of dreams might come, after we’ve put the noise and commotion of life behind us. That’s certainly something to worry about. That’s the consideration that makes us stretch out our sufferings so long. After all, who would put up with all life’s humiliations—the abuse from superiors, the insults of arrogant men, the pangs of unrequited love, the inefficiency of the legal system, the rudeness of people in office, and the mistreatment good people have to take from bad—when you could simply take out your knife and call it quits? Who would choose to grunt and sweat through an exhausting life, unless, they were afraid of something dreadful after death, the undiscovered country from which no visitor returns, which we wonder about without getting any answers from and which makes us stick to the evils we know rather than rush off to seek the ones we don’t? Fear of death makes cowards of us all, and our natural boldness becomes weak with too much thinking. Actions that should be carried out at once get misdirected and stop being actions at all. But shh, here comes the beautiful Ophelia. Pretty lady, please remember me in your prayers.
OPHELIA
Hello, my lord, how have you been lately?
HAMLET
Very well, thank you. Well, whale, well.
OPHELIA
My lord, I have some mementos of yours that I’ve been meaning to give back to you for some time now. Please take them.
HAMLET
No, it wasn’t me. I never gave you anything.
OPHELIA
You know very “whale” that you did, and letters to go along with them, letters so sweetly written making your gifts even more valuable. Their perfume is gone now, please take them back. Rich gifts lose their value when givers prove themselves unkind.
HAMLET
Hahaha, are you good?
OPHELIA
Excuse me?
HAMLET
Are you beautiful?
OPHELIA
My lord, what are you talking about?
HAMLET
I’m just saying that if you’re good and beautiful, your goodness should have nothing to do with your beauty.
OPHELIA
Could beauty be related to anything better than goodness?
HAMLET
Sure, but if beauty’s power can change a good girl into a whore than the power of goodness can change a beautiful girl into a virgin. This used to be a great puzzle, but now I’ve solved it. I used to love you.
OPHELIA
You certainly made me believe you did.
HAMLET
You shouldn’t have believed me, since we’re all rotten at the core, no matter how hard we try to be virtuous. I didn’t love you.
OPHELIA
Then I was misled.
HAMLET
Why would you want to give birth to more sinners? I’m fairly good myself, but even I could be accused of terrible crimes, crimes that it would’ve been better if my mother had never given birth to me. I am that arrogant, vengeful, and ambitious, with more ill will than I can fit into my thoughts, or time to carry them out in. Why should people like me be crawling around between heaven and earth? We are all criminals, speaking of, where’s your father?
OPHELIA
Oh no, he is, he is home, my lord.
HAMLET
You should lock him in, so he can play the fool on his own. To a nunnery at once!
OPHELIA
Oh God, please help him!
HAMLET
If you marry me, I swear I’ll give you this curse as your wedding present. -Get yourself to a convent, at once! And if you have to marry, marry a fool, since wise men know far too well that you’ll cheat on them.
OPHELIA
Oh God, please make him normal again!
HAMLET
I’ve heard all about you women and your cosmetics too. God gives you one face, but you paint another one on to dance, prance, and lisp while calling God’s creations by pet names. Get yourself to a convent, fast!
(HAMLET exits)
OPHELIA
Oh, how noble his mind once was, and how lost he is now! He used to have a gentleman’s grace, a scholar’s wit, and a soldier’s strength. He was the jewel of our country, the savior of souls, and heir to the throne. Oh, how he has fallen! And of all the miserable women who once enjoyed hearing his sweet, seductive words, I am the most miserable. A mind that used to sing so sweetly is completely out of tune, making harsh sounds instead of fine notes. The unparalleled appearance and nobility he had in the full bloom of his youth has been ruined by madness. Oh, how miserable I am to see Hamlet now and know what he was before!
(CLAUDIUS and POLONIUS reappear)
CLAUDIUS
Love? His feelings don’t move in that direction. And his words, although disorganized, weren’t crazy. No, his sadness is hatching something, like a hen does sitting on an egg. What hatches will be very dangerous. I’ve decided he’ll be sent to England to get back the money they owe us. With any luck, the sea and new countries will push out these thoughts that have somehow taken root in his mind.
POLONIUS
I still believe that his madness was caused by unrequited love.—Hello, Ophelia. You don’t have to tell us what Lord Hamlet said. We heard everything—My lord, do whatever you like, but if you do like this idea, let his mother the queen get him alone and beg him to share his feelings with her. I’ll hide and listen in. If she can’t find out what his secret is, then send him off to England or wherever you think best.
CLAUDIUS
It shall be so. Madness in great ones must not unwatched go.
(CLAUDIUS and PALONIOUS exit)
(END OF SCENE)
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